BENjamin

So I was watching a little romantic comedy the other day – I tend to do that every once in awhile, you know, when I’m sitting around by myself with nothing better to do and there happens to be one on tv. Anyway, so it was right at that point where the couple is having their little fight and she’s about to leave him, you know… to set up that final dramatic scene where he goes to drastic measures to find her again so he can admit that he was wrong and they live happily ever after. Well as she’s leaving she tells him, “Love is a gift, not an obligation.” (well done with this line ms. or mr. movie writer). It got me thinking.

Well actually I was already thinking but it was a good perspective on a topic I spend so much time thinking about – love.What is love? What does it mean to love someone? When Jesus was asked what the greatest commandment was, he basically answered that it was to love God with everything we are and to love our neighbors as ourselves. His ‘Answer’ has been echoing in my head for the last six years or so. I joined a program called MissionYear who’s motto is ‘love God, love people, nothing else matter.’ I figured it would be a good chance to try to put ‘the Answer’ into practice. But it’s basically only led me to more questions. What is love? What does it mean to love God? How do I love God? How do I love my neighbor? Do I love my neighbor? What about that dirty guy that smells of alcohol who’s asking me for some money, am I supposed to love him? I think so. Is giving him a dollar loving him? How should I love him? I’m not sure that I love him? What if my neighbor wishes I wasn’t her neighbor, how should I love her? What if they don’t love me back? What if they don’t know I love them? What if they don’t know God loves them? If ‘the Answer’ was so simple why is their so much hate and pain in the world? It sounds so easy but love seems pretty hard sometimes doesn’t it? 

Ok I could go on and on about these questions and write about some of my thoughts and experiences with them (and there’s a decent chance that future blogs might attempt to do so) but I’ll try to stick to the main thought behind this particular blog. I think that I (and I don’t want to speak for everybody, but I think probably most of us) start to make an obligation out of love when it’s really supposed to be a gift. We set up programs to love people and love becomes something we have to do. I have to give some food to my neighbor to show that I love them. I’m not saying that any of these things are bad, but I think that sometimes our efforts to show people we love them get in the way of our actually loving them. But wasn’t love the COMMAND that Jesus gave? So isn’t love an obligation?  Maybe.

Or maybe there was a bit of sarcasm or irony in ‘the Answer.’ I guess I like to think that Jesus was a little sarcastic or ironical, because I’m a little sarcastic/ironical – that might be heretical or something but I’ll set that aside for now. My point is that maybe when Jesus was saying that love was the greatest COMMAND, he was really trying to say that following God is not as difficult as all the rules and stuff make it seem (not saying that the other commands are obsolete). Perhaps the secret to a life lived with God is simply accepting the GIFT of love and sharing it. I feel like my perception needs to change in order to better understand love – maybe not understand – to better receive and give love. Its not another thing to put on my to do list. Its not a goal, or a program, or an obligation. Its a gift. A great gift.  Thoughts?