BENjamin

So I was watching a little romantic comedy the other day – I tend to do that every once in awhile, you know, when I’m sitting around by myself with nothing better to do and there happens to be one on tv. Anyway, so it was right at that point where the couple is having their little fight and she’s about to leave him, you know… to set up that final dramatic scene where he goes to drastic measures to find her again so he can admit that he was wrong and they live happily ever after. Well as she’s leaving she tells him, “Love is a gift, not an obligation.” (well done with this line ms. or mr. movie writer). It got me thinking.

Well actually I was already thinking but it was a good perspective on a topic I spend so much time thinking about – love.What is love? What does it mean to love someone? When Jesus was asked what the greatest commandment was, he basically answered that it was to love God with everything we are and to love our neighbors as ourselves. His ‘Answer’ has been echoing in my head for the last six years or so. I joined a program called MissionYear who’s motto is ‘love God, love people, nothing else matter.’ I figured it would be a good chance to try to put ‘the Answer’ into practice. But it’s basically only led me to more questions. What is love? What does it mean to love God? How do I love God? How do I love my neighbor? Do I love my neighbor? What about that dirty guy that smells of alcohol who’s asking me for some money, am I supposed to love him? I think so. Is giving him a dollar loving him? How should I love him? I’m not sure that I love him? What if my neighbor wishes I wasn’t her neighbor, how should I love her? What if they don’t love me back? What if they don’t know I love them? What if they don’t know God loves them? If ‘the Answer’ was so simple why is their so much hate and pain in the world? It sounds so easy but love seems pretty hard sometimes doesn’t it? 

Ok I could go on and on about these questions and write about some of my thoughts and experiences with them (and there’s a decent chance that future blogs might attempt to do so) but I’ll try to stick to the main thought behind this particular blog. I think that I (and I don’t want to speak for everybody, but I think probably most of us) start to make an obligation out of love when it’s really supposed to be a gift. We set up programs to love people and love becomes something we have to do. I have to give some food to my neighbor to show that I love them. I’m not saying that any of these things are bad, but I think that sometimes our efforts to show people we love them get in the way of our actually loving them. But wasn’t love the COMMAND that Jesus gave? So isn’t love an obligation?  Maybe.

Or maybe there was a bit of sarcasm or irony in ‘the Answer.’ I guess I like to think that Jesus was a little sarcastic or ironical, because I’m a little sarcastic/ironical – that might be heretical or something but I’ll set that aside for now. My point is that maybe when Jesus was saying that love was the greatest COMMAND, he was really trying to say that following God is not as difficult as all the rules and stuff make it seem (not saying that the other commands are obsolete). Perhaps the secret to a life lived with God is simply accepting the GIFT of love and sharing it. I feel like my perception needs to change in order to better understand love – maybe not understand – to better receive and give love. Its not another thing to put on my to do list. Its not a goal, or a program, or an obligation. Its a gift. A great gift.  Thoughts? 

Easter is obviously a very exciting and meaningful time for Christians. The death and resurrection of Jesus is one of the most significant foundations of faith (I say ‘one of’ because I think his incarnation/birth, life, and teachings are up there as well). This year for me the theme of joy surrounding the Easter celebration was very pervasive. Its not because this year’s holiday was necessarily filled with more joy than any past Easter celebrations, but as I reflected on this occasion, the theme of joy just kept echoing in my head.

 I think part of it is actually due to some lack of joy in my life. It has been a pretty long and difficult winter and I’ve just been kind of frustrated with questions about what I’m doing now and what I should do next among other things. I also often get weighed down with the many evils and injustices that plague this fallen world.

I think it was in light of those things that the theme of joy just seemed to be so fitting. Yes there are a lot of crappy things that happen throughout the world and there is a lot of suffering, but Jesus’ message was the good news of God’s coming kingdom, where injustices and suffering would be no more. What greater message of overcoming could there be than that of the resurrection? In the midst of great suffering and death, fear and doubt (amongst the disciples), God brought forth new life saying suffering and death is not the end and it is not what God desires. It is a message of hope and a message of joy. God can overcome the despair, God will overcome the despair.  The resurrection is a reminder of God’s power and God’s plan. Sin and death have lost their sting. God brings life and a new kingdom through the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus. So there is hope and where there is hope there can be joy. 

Usually people make resolutions at the beginning of the new year, but I figured it was fitting to consider a resolution at Easter since the resurrection represents a new life. My resolution is to try to live more and more in the hope and joy of the resurrection. Its not always easy for me. I am generally a more low key guy that keeps things pretty even-keel. But I think its appropriate to smile more and live with more joy. I tend to let the despairities around me keep me in that Saturday between the death and resurrection. By no means is this to say that I can overlook those despairities, the injustices of society, or the hurts of my neighbors. No, my faith in Jesus, tells me that he desires me to oppose such things, to love my neighbor, to be merciful and compassionate, and to seek justice. But Easter is a reminder to do those things – to live in the Saturday – with the knowledge that a resurrection is coming. That tears of joy fall amidst the tears of pain, dancing is ok even among despair, mourning gives way to singing, laughter overcomes the crying, darkness turns to light, and where death seems to reign, life will claim the ultimate victory. My Easter resolution is to smile more as hope gives birth to joy!
 

So I decided to set up my own blog. I’m not really sure why I thought this would be a good idea. I’m pretty horrible at keeping things up to date and the last time I even wrote in my own personal journal was months ago. On top of that I feel like my writing and my ability to communicate effectively has been on a fairly steady decline recently. But maybe, just maybe, this will motivate me to try to do some processing of my thoughts and experiences and write them down, as if they might be worthwhile for someone else to read. That being said, I’ve got nothing right now.