BENjamin

So yeah… I’m commenting on my own post. This is like the story of my life – talking to myself. But I was reminded of a paradoxical thought that I’ve come across and thought about in the past. The basic premise of that paradox comes from this quote from The Brothers Karamazov by Dostoevsky:

“If I must love my fellow man, he had better hide himself, for no sooner do I see his face than there’s an end to my love for him . . . The idea of loving one’s neighbor is possible only as an abstraction: it may be conceivable to love one’s fellow man at a distance, but it is almost never possible to love him at close quarters.”

My good friend Chris Bhang writes more about this idea in his blog (which is where I copied the quote from.) http://www.xanga.com/bhangbhangbang?nextdate=7%2f11%2f2007+15%3a32%3a53.453&direction=n

I think you get the paradox. But I was also thinking about a movie I watched recently called Music Within. Its a pretty quality movie and one I would recommend seeing. The main character becomes friends with a man with cerebral palsy – a man whose physical appearance is rather ‘unlovely.’ Towards the end of the movie the man with cerebral palsy is talking about how people view handicapped persons. He talks about how they try to ignore him because he looks so repulsive and almost inhuman. He says, “I make them feel. I love that.” Perhaps that is why we find it so difficult to love our neighbor ‘at close quarters’ or those that seem so repulsive – because they really make us feel. Their perceived unloveliness shows us a deep brokenness within humanity – our own humanity. Can we embrace their brokenness – our own brokenness?

Here’s a quote that I jotted down awhile ago that seems pretty fitting for this topic. I’m not exactly sure where this comes from but I’m fairly sure that it is from a book called God in the Alley. I don’t remember the author.

          ”When I admit my brokenness and enter into more intimate relationships with God and his people, I am less inclined to judge others’ brokenness. Instead, I can dignify it, recognizing and mourning the deep pain and alienation that is the inevitable result of being sinful people living in a sinful world but rejoicing also that we are together in this, and that God is with us, meeting us at the very point of our need.”

I attended a fundraising banquet for MissionYear this weekend. MissionYear is the Christian, inner-city volunteer organization that I participated in last year and was what originally brought me to Chicago. It was a very nice banquet with Dr. Tony Campolo as the special guest speaker. While I was sitting there through the dinner, I kept thinking about why I had originally decided to participate in MissionYear and my experiences since coming to Chicago…
It was in college that I really first started to discover the themes permeating throughout the Bible about caring for the widow and the orphan, the poor and the oppressed. Certainly love and justice are the very heart of God, caring for those ‘who are less fortunate’ is something that I feel called to participate in as someone who claims to be a follower of Christ. It was these types of understandings that led me to sponsor a child through Compassion International, to travel to Ghana and work with a children’s home there, to become involved with our campus chapter of International Justice Mission, to participate in other types of service ministry, and eventually to sign up for MissionYear and move to Chicago. My experiences in these types of things have taught me a lot and molded me in a lot of ways – probably a lot of ways that I’m not even yet aware. I don’t bring up these things as a means of trying to boast – heck no – I’m very aware of the many ways I still fall short and am certainly inadequate to accomplish anything without the power of the Holy Spirit within me, and probably even more often in spite of me.

Actually, I’m bringing up these things in some ways to point at the risks of the emphasis of social justice, service, caring for the poor and needy, ministry. Here’s an excerpt from Jesus and the Disinherited by Howard Thurman that gets at what I’m talking about. (I highly recommend reading the whole book.)

“It is not a singular thing to hear a sermon that defines what should be the attitude of the Christian toward people who are less fortunate than himself. Again and again our missionary appeal is on the basis of the Christian responsibility to the needy, the ignorant, and the so-called backward peoples of the earth. There is a certain grandeur and nobility in administering to another’s need out of one’s fullness and plenty. One could be selfish, using his possessions -material or spiritual – for strictly private or personal ends. It is certainlyto the glory of Christianity that it has been most insistent on the point of responsibility to others whose only claim upon one s the height and depth of their need. This impulse at the heart of Christianity is the human will to share with others what one has found meaningful to oneself elevated to the height of a moral imperative. But there is a lurking danger in this very emphasis. It is exceedingly difficult to hold oneself free from a certain contempt for those whose predicament makes moral appeal for defense and succor. It is the sin of pride and arrogance that has tended to vitiate the missionary impulse and to make of it an instrument of self-righteousness on the one hand and racial superiority on the other.

That is one reason why, again and again, there is no basic relationship between the simple practice of brotherhood in the commonplace relations of life and the ethical pretensions of our faith. It as long been a matter of serious moment that for decades we have studied the various peoples of the world and those who live as our neighbors as objects of missionary endeavor and enterprise without being at all willing to treat them either as brothers or as human beings. I ay this without rancor, because it is not an issue in which vicious human beings are involved. But it is one of the subtle perils of a religion which calls attention – to the point of overemphasis, sometimes – to one’s obligation to administer to human need.”

The danger in emphasizing the calling or the Christian faith in caring for the ‘poor and oppressed’ is that they are simply that – ‘the poor and oppressed’. They become very other. They are somehow very different. The danger is in becoming very self-righteous and getting so caught up in the grandeur of meeting someone else’s need. It sets up a have’s and have not’s dichotomy in which the have not’s almost become less human. They are the other to which I am responsible to give from my plenty to help them – poor and stricken as they are. 

When I read that excerpt it messes with me, because there is the calling to care for others and I do truly believe that God blesses people in order to be a blessing to others. But how do I care for others without them being so ‘other’? 

I’m not going to knock organizations like Compassion International or World Vision or other similar relief agencies. I think they are good ways of redistributing wealth and resources. But there’s something a little disturbing about such efforts becoming so big business. The even more unsettling thing is how easy it becomes for well meaning people to write a check and feel noble and grand about fulfilling a calling to care for the widow and the orphan without any real connection. It has that great danger of setting up that schism. I do appreciate the efforts to encourage letter writing and communication, but the whole thing is still quite impersonal. 

That is one of the things that I think I am learning through my travels and especially through my experience in Chicago. Granted, I still think that self-righteousness and arrogant pride are still some of the most dangerous traps that I find myself getting caught in. There are harsh realities and fist-shaking frustrations about living and working in low-income neighborhoods. But one of the things that I’ve noticed about my time among the ‘poor and oppressed’ is that they aren’t so much ‘the poor and oppressed’ any more. They aren’t a label and they are much less ‘other.’ They are real people. They are brothers and sisters. They have things to offer and teach me as I have things to offer and teach them. It becomes less about my giving and more about our sharing.  Its not always that clear and beautiful to me, but its something I’m learning.

I think that fellowship is the type of thing that Jesus intended when he called his followers to care for the the poor and oppressed. I think there’s a reason why Isaiah 58:7 says “I want you to share your food with the hungry and to welcome the poor wanderers into your homes (NLT, italics mine).” It doesn’t say to set up world food banks, to write a check to someone around the world, or set up a homeless shelter. By no means am I saying that those things are bad – they can help a lot of people, but I wonder if they would be necessary if we all really took that verse to heart. Thats the dreamer in me. But when we invite someone to share our meal with us, or come to stay in our own home, its much easier to see the humanity in them and we can begin to see ourselves as brothers and sisters rather than have’s and have not’s.

It builds the relationship that Thurman was referring to between the simple practice of brotherhood in the commonplace relations of life and the ethical pretensions of faith. Maybe that’s why Jesus said in Matthew 25 ‘…when you did it to one of these my brothers and sisters… I also think that it’s interesting that those who are called to inherit the Kingdom were clueless about what the King was talking about. They didn’t know what he was talking about when he said they had cared for him. They didn’t do it for nobility or grandeur, it was just such a part of their lives as brothers and sisters caring for one another.  

The world does so much to separate people from one another. Even our acts of charity can bring about division. However, our faith should help us to see people as brothers and sisters sharing the good gifts of God, instead of objects of our righteous giving.

Spring seems to have finally arrived here in Chicago after a pretty long winter. We’ve had some nice 60 degree days as well as some cool rainy ones. Spring is an exciting time… there’s so much newness.

First, my sister is about to give birth to a baby girl. I’m going to be an uncle and that’s exciting! Uncle Ben! I really am pumped to have a little niece.

Secondly, a new baseball season has begun. Go Twins! Its an exciting time for baseball fans because no matter how bad your team was last year, there’s hope that this year will be better than the last and you just want to see how those newcomers will do. It could be a long year for my beloved Twinkies. They’ve lost two of their best and most popular players in Torii Hunter and Johan Santana. Santana might be the best pitcher in all of baseball, but the thrifty Twins just couldn’t afford to pay these two that much money. But I’m still excited for this season. I doubt they’ll make the playoffs but I think they’ll be better than most expect. They still have Mauer and Morneau who can mash with the best of them. They also added a young guy by the name of Carlos Gomez. He might be the fastest player in baseball and I’m pretty high on him right now. He’ll strike out a lot but its just fun to have a guy that fast on your team. They also traded for Delmon Young. People don’t deny how talented this guy is and what his potential is, but he’s had some attitude/character issues/questions that have tainted people’s opinions of him and is why his previous team decided to trade him. However, he has said all the right things since coming to Minnesota and seems to be looking forward to making a fresh start with the Twins.

Speaking of fresh starts…

I’m a big fan of the book of Hosea. Its a book that is largely about second chances and the persistence and faithfulness of God with stubborn people. There’s a very spring-like term that is used in this book – Jezreel. Jezreel means ‘God plants.’ I think this idea is pretty cool. There’s excitement and hope and expectation. God is in spring mode. God is restoring and planting and we get to reap the harvest. I grew up on a farm and so the idea of planting is a familiar one to me. Now in the city, planting seems a little more foreign amidst all this metal, glass, pavement, and concrete. But when I was reading Hosea, I couldn’t help but be filled with an excitement and hope. God is planting something here in Chicago, and I want to see what grows and what will be harvested. What is God planting in you? What is God planting around you? Who has God planted in your life? Whose life has God planted you in? Spring truly is an exciting time.

It seems to me that peace and social justice have become pretty trendy among many Christian circles. It’s exciting to me that people are becoming more aware of the biblical mandates for these very good things but I’m pretty cynical about the real and actual efforts that we (myself included) are making to truly pursue these noble efforts. I will probably remind myself several times that this critical blog is aimed at me as well. I really wonder how truly dedicated and sincere our social justice efforts are. I wonder if its one of those things that we feel great talking about because just talking about such matters makes us feel like we’re really doing something. I’m leery of the chatter. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy sitting in a group of people that are concerned about social justice and believe that Christians are called by God to advocate for equality and justice. But it can’t just be talk.

Today I was at a conference for urban youth workers and I went to a session about justice. It was a good discussion and all of that. Several (of the numerous) biblical texts were brought up that talk about the demand for justice. One of those passages comes from Amos 5:21-24.

“I hate all your show and pretense – the hypocrisy of your religious festivals and solemn assemblies. I will not accept your burnt offering and grain offerings. I won’t even notice all your choice peace offerings. Away with your hymns of praise! They are only noise to my ears. I will not listen to your music, no matter how lovely it is. Instead, I want to see a mighty flood of justice, a river of righteous living that will never run dry.”

This is a powerful passage. God desires his people to live justly and righteously more than he wants our songs and our offerings. Its not the only time the Scriptures say something like this. But I cringe sometimes when I read this passage or hear it presented in a workshop such as the one I was in. First of all I cringe because I find it very ironic that a Christian contemporary musician (CCM) made a worship song out of the last verse about letting justice roll down and mercy flow. I feel like they kind of missed the point of the passage. I don’t think that God was trying to tell us that we should sing songs about peace and justice. The point is that God desires us to pursue justice, to do it, to live it. As I thought about it more, I think CCM’s making a song out of the verse is somewhat fitting as a sign of what Christians may be doing with justice, mercy, and peace. I fear that we’ve made it a show. We’ve made social justice our ’show and pretense ‘ the hypocrisy…’ because it has become the trendy thing to talk about. We can say we’re about social justice and people are impressed. But God is not impressed with our talk. In the verse God doesn’t say he wants to hear people talking about justice … he wants to see it happening.

I’m not saying that the discussions should stop, but don’t let it be just a show. It has to be real. We need to be actively pursuing these things. We can’t settle for passive talk and simply not participating in injustice but actively doing justice, loving our neighbors, and advocating for others. And I’m not really sure that many people who claim to be about social justice are really sincere. Its cool to talk about and all that but are those of us who are so privileged by the systems of injustice really ready to give up those privileges and benefits to truly live a just and merciful life. Are we really willing to make that sacrifice or do we feel that saying we’re about social justice is what God wants to hear?

I think the reason that I’m writing this blog is that I’m kind of frustrated with myself and the workshops or discussions like the one I was at today. It was a good workshop and some interesting points were raised, but I’m ready to stop talking about how its important to be about social justice and start coming up with ways of actually pursuing justice and being merciful and living righteous. What should I do? How should I respond to the injustices that I hear about? What should I be doing on a day to day basis? 

So I was watching a little romantic comedy the other day – I tend to do that every once in awhile, you know, when I’m sitting around by myself with nothing better to do and there happens to be one on tv. Anyway, so it was right at that point where the couple is having their little fight and she’s about to leave him, you know… to set up that final dramatic scene where he goes to drastic measures to find her again so he can admit that he was wrong and they live happily ever after. Well as she’s leaving she tells him, “Love is a gift, not an obligation.” (well done with this line ms. or mr. movie writer). It got me thinking.

Well actually I was already thinking but it was a good perspective on a topic I spend so much time thinking about – love.What is love? What does it mean to love someone? When Jesus was asked what the greatest commandment was, he basically answered that it was to love God with everything we are and to love our neighbors as ourselves. His ‘Answer’ has been echoing in my head for the last six years or so. I joined a program called MissionYear who’s motto is ‘love God, love people, nothing else matter.’ I figured it would be a good chance to try to put ‘the Answer’ into practice. But it’s basically only led me to more questions. What is love? What does it mean to love God? How do I love God? How do I love my neighbor? Do I love my neighbor? What about that dirty guy that smells of alcohol who’s asking me for some money, am I supposed to love him? I think so. Is giving him a dollar loving him? How should I love him? I’m not sure that I love him? What if my neighbor wishes I wasn’t her neighbor, how should I love her? What if they don’t love me back? What if they don’t know I love them? What if they don’t know God loves them? If ‘the Answer’ was so simple why is their so much hate and pain in the world? It sounds so easy but love seems pretty hard sometimes doesn’t it? 

Ok I could go on and on about these questions and write about some of my thoughts and experiences with them (and there’s a decent chance that future blogs might attempt to do so) but I’ll try to stick to the main thought behind this particular blog. I think that I (and I don’t want to speak for everybody, but I think probably most of us) start to make an obligation out of love when it’s really supposed to be a gift. We set up programs to love people and love becomes something we have to do. I have to give some food to my neighbor to show that I love them. I’m not saying that any of these things are bad, but I think that sometimes our efforts to show people we love them get in the way of our actually loving them. But wasn’t love the COMMAND that Jesus gave? So isn’t love an obligation?  Maybe.

Or maybe there was a bit of sarcasm or irony in ‘the Answer.’ I guess I like to think that Jesus was a little sarcastic or ironical, because I’m a little sarcastic/ironical – that might be heretical or something but I’ll set that aside for now. My point is that maybe when Jesus was saying that love was the greatest COMMAND, he was really trying to say that following God is not as difficult as all the rules and stuff make it seem (not saying that the other commands are obsolete). Perhaps the secret to a life lived with God is simply accepting the GIFT of love and sharing it. I feel like my perception needs to change in order to better understand love – maybe not understand – to better receive and give love. Its not another thing to put on my to do list. Its not a goal, or a program, or an obligation. Its a gift. A great gift.  Thoughts? 

Easter is obviously a very exciting and meaningful time for Christians. The death and resurrection of Jesus is one of the most significant foundations of faith (I say ‘one of’ because I think his incarnation/birth, life, and teachings are up there as well). This year for me the theme of joy surrounding the Easter celebration was very pervasive. Its not because this year’s holiday was necessarily filled with more joy than any past Easter celebrations, but as I reflected on this occasion, the theme of joy just kept echoing in my head.

 I think part of it is actually due to some lack of joy in my life. It has been a pretty long and difficult winter and I’ve just been kind of frustrated with questions about what I’m doing now and what I should do next among other things. I also often get weighed down with the many evils and injustices that plague this fallen world.

I think it was in light of those things that the theme of joy just seemed to be so fitting. Yes there are a lot of crappy things that happen throughout the world and there is a lot of suffering, but Jesus’ message was the good news of God’s coming kingdom, where injustices and suffering would be no more. What greater message of overcoming could there be than that of the resurrection? In the midst of great suffering and death, fear and doubt (amongst the disciples), God brought forth new life saying suffering and death is not the end and it is not what God desires. It is a message of hope and a message of joy. God can overcome the despair, God will overcome the despair.  The resurrection is a reminder of God’s power and God’s plan. Sin and death have lost their sting. God brings life and a new kingdom through the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus. So there is hope and where there is hope there can be joy. 

Usually people make resolutions at the beginning of the new year, but I figured it was fitting to consider a resolution at Easter since the resurrection represents a new life. My resolution is to try to live more and more in the hope and joy of the resurrection. Its not always easy for me. I am generally a more low key guy that keeps things pretty even-keel. But I think its appropriate to smile more and live with more joy. I tend to let the despairities around me keep me in that Saturday between the death and resurrection. By no means is this to say that I can overlook those despairities, the injustices of society, or the hurts of my neighbors. No, my faith in Jesus, tells me that he desires me to oppose such things, to love my neighbor, to be merciful and compassionate, and to seek justice. But Easter is a reminder to do those things – to live in the Saturday – with the knowledge that a resurrection is coming. That tears of joy fall amidst the tears of pain, dancing is ok even among despair, mourning gives way to singing, laughter overcomes the crying, darkness turns to light, and where death seems to reign, life will claim the ultimate victory. My Easter resolution is to smile more as hope gives birth to joy!
 

So I decided to set up my own blog. I’m not really sure why I thought this would be a good idea. I’m pretty horrible at keeping things up to date and the last time I even wrote in my own personal journal was months ago. On top of that I feel like my writing and my ability to communicate effectively has been on a fairly steady decline recently. But maybe, just maybe, this will motivate me to try to do some processing of my thoughts and experiences and write them down, as if they might be worthwhile for someone else to read. That being said, I’ve got nothing right now.